This year has been the year of gains. First, a gain of anxiety, an increase in my PTSD symptoms, and a fairly significant gain of weight. It has also been a year of gains in job satisfaction, friendships, personal projects, income, health, and in control of previously mentioned PTSD symptoms. And i’m ok with all of it… yes, even the weight gain. A good friend of mine once told me that life is like a fitted sheet, its always going to be pulling up at one corner or the other. I was busy pulling down the corners of mental health and personal development, and physical self care went to the wayside as I neglected it in favor of fixing my shoulder. But now that all of this has been resolved… i’d like to see what I can do about making 2018 a year of loss.
Gains in self confidence
I know I have a long way to go in terms of self confidence, but I have started to get to a place where I can look in the mirror, see the extra weight, and really and truly see myself as beautiful. Overweight, and drop dead gorgeous (or I like to think so). I haven’t given up on myself in any way, rather, I just had different priorities. Yeah, it is going to be hard to shake it, but I just had to be real with myself. I didn’t have time energy to deal with yet another thing, so I accepted these changes. I have had to pretty much re-buy my entire wardrobe over the past 10ish months (sob – mostly for the cost) and learn how to dress myself since my figure actually changed enough that the same styles no longer made me feel good about myself. BUT I chose to love on myself and buy the flowing type of clothes that would make me comfortable now, and would still be able to serve as I lost weight (at some point, ha!)
Why I want to lose the weight has changed
I used to be disgusted in myself when I was overweight. The first time I joined weight watchers, I said so in the introductory meeting when they asked us why we were there. I’m currently 5lbs over I was when I said that nearly 8 years ago, and my highest weight ever increased by 17lbs. oohf. But in those 8 years, although I gained all of my first WW loss back and then some (omg just did the math… 64 lbs…. cry…..) but I also gained love, peace, and compassion for myself and this amazing and beautiful body I live in. I am back on Weight Watchers, but I am not disgusted by myself at all. I wish I hadn’t gained it all back, but its only because I know it won’t be easy losing it again. Even so, I know I can do it because I did it before.
Weight Watchers Freestyle Review
The points they are a changin…
When I lost 45lbs back in 2011, I did so on the Points Plus system. One thing that WW does well is always continue working on adjusting their plan to improve how it works for it’s members, trying new formulas, etc. to help people make goal.
Back in March of 2012 when I was trying on all of my summer clothes. That shirt was too small two years ago, and those pants wouldn’t fit me now. Sigh.
This doesn’t always work, however. When I started putting the weight back on about 2ish years ago, I joined up to find they had updated to Smart Points and just couldn’t make it fly. All of the points I had grown to know like the back of my hand had changed for everything I ate, and I was adjusting very poorly. I have been a member for a few months now (and really should have cancelled it until I was ready to commit) but kept trying to get used to Smart Points, but ultimately overeating due to excessive anxiety, PTSD symptoms, and a willpower that has apparently been on an extended vacation.
Weight Watchers Works if you Work for it.
So here I am for (lets say) the third time, and it was the perfect timing in so many ways. I was getting to a good place with my shoulder, and had started to chip away at my weight, taking 4-5 lbs off by Thanksgiving. The week following, I had a question for a friend I hadn’t seen in about a year, and saw when I went to her FB page SHE HAD LOST 80LBS. Holy crap! Of course, i congratulated her when I reached out, and she introduced me to part of the app I hadn’t even realized was there… the Connect Community, which is similar to an instagram/twitter mashup strictly through the app. Finally, it clicked, and for the first week ever, I didn’t go over my points. And I lost that week.
Go for launch with Freestyle.
With that momentum under my belt keeping my spare tire company, I began the next week on the new Freestyle program. This time, the program change was right up my alley. In summary, weight watchers assigns points values to food, fresh fruit and veggies being 0. You have a budget of points each day, with extras to spend throughout the week. Freestyle made chicken, eggs, seafood, plain greek yogurt, and beans (among other things) free, but reduced your daily points allowance. While it feels a bit like cheating not counting certain foods, I have felt an increased amount of control over what I have been eating, and feeling a lot better in general. The best part is that I can eat eggs for breakfast, and ALLLLLLL THE MEXICAN FOOD!!!
These green salsa tostadas are 2 points each!
- Shredded chicken (0sp)
- Mama lupe low carb tortilla (1sp)
- 1 Tbs cheese (1sp)
- Green salsa (0sp)
It hasn’t been 2 full weeks on the plan just yet, but I am very excited to see what the next few have in store for me.