Hey guys! Quick warning, if you are squeamish, the beginning of this video is probably not for you.
First of all, if you have been following me for awhile, you might be wondering why it is already October 5th and I haven’t yet announced a theme for 31 Days of Halloween! That is because I had decided not to do it! There are a few reasons why…
Shoulder Surgery
This look is inspired by my actual upcoming shoulder surgery. After a year of expensive diagnostic tests, long periods of wait between appointments, a doctor who told me my pain was likely caused by my PTSD, and 6 months worth of physical therapy… I finally went to the third doctor, who immediately noticed they had done the wrong type of MRI almost 9 months prior. Just a week later, and I found out that it had been a tear the entire time.
All of the pain, frustration, and humiliation of having a doctor take one look at my medical history and assume he had this “hysterical” woman with PTSD figured out. After ordering additional and expensive medical tests (instead of referring me to an orthopedic specialist, which I did myself eventually) he told me point blank I should see a psychiatrist. Boy was he surprised when he found out he had ordered the wrong MRI from the get go and completely missed my sports injury, which would have saved me months of pain and at this point, thousands of dollars. Im only a little bitter… I promise! I’m honestly just happy to be getting it over with!
Be your own advocate
This is where I want to re-iterate a stance I have had about chronic pain that I have always trumpeted. YOU are the biggest advocate of YOUR health you will ever have. YOU know what is going on in your body. Trust this. If you know something is wrong, follow it. Get a second opinion, get a third opinion. Don’t let a doctor’s bias from an existing condition blind him to the truth about what is going on with YOUR body. Find someone willing to listen. To search. To treat you. And to trust that you know your body. I go on about this a little more at the end of the video, so if you are not a fan of the gore, skip to 3:21 to see my health advocacy PSA of sorts.
Find Your Mental Balance
So, don’t get me wrong… I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!! And doing a ton of DIY’s, baked goods, and costumes is one of my favorite ways to pass my time. But after injuring myself last September (re-same shoulder injury) and having already started a bit of a downward spiral with my PTSD that had snuck up on my like I hadn’t believed it could. I didn’t even realize I had been struggling so badly until I was almost buried by it, and I am just now starting to get back on top of things. With the upcoming surgery plus all of the general anxiety of life and the pressure of comparison in the online space… I just know it isn’t the best use of my energy. Every year, as proud as I am of my work, and as much fun as I was having… Im completely exhausted when Halloween rolls around. This year, I’m going to try to get up what I can one handed, and actually enjoy Halloween resting, sleeping, wearing nothing but my new Halloween leggings, and watching scary movies.
Plus… I have kind of let my makeup and costume obsession spill into all other months of the year.
Without further ado…
Special Effects Surgical Stitches
That intro scene is totes fake btw. But it was gruesome and it made me happy 😛
Now, this ended up looking a lot like the prosthetics you can buy at the store, but it does have more easily hidden edges. I just wish I had 1) gotten better light on the stitches and 2) done more irritation using a stippling sponge.
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