Mad Like Alyce

Well, I have to admit, 5 days in to my final medication cessation and I already feel like a total baby. The first jump down in meds was just a half step compared to what it will be a week from now… and I’m dreading it. Ive tried to tough my way through the first few days, but my sleep has definitely been suffering, and I have been compensating by canceling appointments with friends and eating way more food than I should, and I finally caved and went to the chiropractor even though I had to put it on a card (bank account = zero… boo). Even as I sit here at my desk… i’m just overwhelmed with exhaustion that is bone deep. The kind of exhaustion where it feels like work just to breathe.

Our Pain Perspective

Honestly, doing this is a really good way to review how our perspectives shift in regards to our own pain. Back when I was in the PRC, I could hardly get through an 8 hour day of classes, much less an entire day of activity. I had to take breaks in the quiet room multiple times a day. I took the max recommended dose of over the counter meds.

(whether they would have endorsed that, I don’t know, and I didn’t ask. Please remember that this is my own opinions and memories, and should not be taken as medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health care routine)

I used Icy Hot balm, Salon Pas patches, and heating pads throughout the day. Even with these, I still struggled with the intense pain.

Now, I don’t know if my pain necessarily lessened over the last 4 years, or if I just got used to it over time. Maybe both. Typically, my pain would have flare ups about once every 2 months, with a major flare once or twice per year. I just kept moving forward and used pain management techniques to get through it. Now that I am making changes again, I do know that the pain certainly appears to still be there. If i’m just more aware of it with med changes or the med changes have made me more sensitive… I guess I will never know. I do have faith that I will make it through this again. I have faith that I will yet again find a new baseline normal where my pain and I live in (reasonable) harmony. But right now… you guys i’m already so tired. This is going to be interesting, to say the least.

Preparing for the next steps

Knowing that I have just over a week before the next step down, I have really been reviewing the techniques that got me through my opiate pain medication withdrawals four years ago and trying to prepare myself. I hope that by using these, I can hopefully minimize the overall effects of the withdrawal. Ultimately, I realize that some things will just be difficult for awhile, but that is ok. At minimum, I feel that if I can get through the next two months without missing work, that will be a huge success. Having extra breaks for the holidays will help. And having you all helps me too. No matter where we are in our pain journey, we are in it together. Keep hanging in there!


Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!


  • One last look at this (insightful? Revealing?) makeup! I actually really loved the eyes by themselves, and they took a good 2 hours themselves. A good challenge in trying to make a flat art of round objects translated on a curved surface! #eyeseeyou #eyeball #eyes #makeupartist #inspiredbyart
Inspire by art by @xsullo
  • Eye see you! I also understand I’m not funny, it’s ok. 😂
This was actually a fun challenge, eyes are really complex and took nearly 2 hours to get them where I was happy. Of all of this, I’m really proud of the detail I was able to get in the irises of each eye, and my blocked eyebrow almost completely disappeared! This actually looks amazing compared to the first time I blocked them out. Yay for progress! #eyeseeyou #eyeball #horrormakeup #horrorart 
Inspired by art from @xsullo
  • I love finding inspiration in new places, and when @bearded_horror shared artwork by @xsullo a week or so ago, I knew I had to give it a try as a makeup! Seriously, such amazing art. I hope I did it justice! Check out their profile to see even more incredible works and compare to the original.
  • After this photoshoot im not sure how to go back to my plain black background... I mean if there isn’t ominous fog in the background, does it really even count?!?! #fogmachine #clownmakeup #scareactress #hauntlife #evietheclown
  • This is my level of excitement right now! The love I have gotten for Evie over the past few days have been amazing, thank you all so much! #clown #clownmakeup #clowns #hauntlife #scareactress
  • That’s not a Wiley grin, that’s me clamping my teeth together so I stopped chattering. This spring was BRUTAL in SD, and it was in the 30s when we shot this in an unheated parking garage. #clowningaround #clownmakeup #scareactor #scareactress #hauntlife
  • Evie is probably my favorite full-costume character I’ve created to date. It’s so fun to think a practice look I made for haunt last year will be a fully fledged character come haunt season next year! Also, I NEED these light bars @jibclimmer used in this shoot. If anyone has a few hundred dollars to donate to the cause just let me know. 😉 #clown #clownmakeup #hauntedhouse #hauntlife #makeupartist
  • If only @grave_digger_the_clown would learn to share, Evie wouldn’t have to steal his shovel! #justclowningaround #clown #clownmakeup #hauntlife photography credit goes to the incredibly talented @jibclimmer
  • Hey guys! It’s been a hell of last few months, but trust me, I’ve been busy! I’d like to introduce my newest character, Evie the Clown! Thanks so much to @jibclimmer for these incredible photos... more to come very shortly. #clown #clownmakeup #hauntlife


Costume & Makeup Tutorials

Follow Me