Mad Like Alyce

Loving Myself: The Unintentional Benefit of Writing

Loving myself. This was a surprise side effect from starting this blog 3 years ago. It has grown quite a bit since, but then, so have I. It all started out from the need to start sharing my experiences… to share my story. To feel less alone. To find a way to express myself creatively but also to feel like I had a voice again. Years of struggling with PTSD and chronic pain made me feel like I had shuttered myself so completely within my own mind that I didn’t know if I could ever find an exit.

Finding my voice

And so it started. A small voice out on the sea of the internet, just needing to speak even if I wasn’t heard. But, much to my surprise, people listened, and I realized that I myself started actually listening to what was in my heart.

So I branched out, tried different things, experimented with photography, and food staging, and SFX makeup tutorials. Were they perfect? No. But they were fun, and my voice continued to grow stronger than my fear.

Even when things got a little out of wack (OK, a LOT out of wack) in the last year, I realized that I was starting to see myself as separate from the things I did, the things that happened to and around me. My voice, my confidence in who I am as a person was developing and I found that in roughest moments, it was still there. Even in the darkest times, I know that there are people around me that love me, support me,  and encourage me, even if I cannot see them in a moment without the light.

Self Image

Body positivity is starting to become a huge movement, and it is so interesting how this concept really is unique to every person. I will admit, I used to hate my body. It is a strong word, but it really did encapsulate everything about the emotions I had when looking at myself. Awful, right?

It wasn’t until the past few years that I really started to see myself differently. I’m at my heaviest weight I have ever seen, and yet, I am so proud of myself for everything else I have accomplished in the past few years that I feel that hating on myself for one area is just ridiculous. I used to feel like I had to lose weight a before my life could start. Only then could I get married, have kids, be successful in my career. Do the things I dreamed about. I know it wasn’t a healthy thought process, but I also don’t think it is that uncommon of an idea.. at least in the terms of feeling that there is some goal we have to accomplish before doing everything we want to do.

Learning through leadership

It was making connections with amazing people around me that helped me to start challenging this idea that I had to do things in a certain order. I see all of these incredible women around me. Writers, marketers, designers, CEOs, Directors, entrepreneurs, bloggers. Vibrant, successful women, following their passions. Do they have insecurities? Probably. But that isn’t what I see when I see them. I see people whose accomplishments I aspire towards. Whose behaviors and actions become guidance for who I want to be as a person. They are not perfect, and they are the most beautiful, inspiring, fabulous women in all of their flawed individuality. Through them, I started to see myself not by my weight, but by my actions. My goals. My accomplishments.

Love yourself

I came across this quote on Pintrest the other day, and I realized that of the four ways to love yourself, it is now the second two loves that I can do without thinking. I really do have better love for myself, in any form, weight, and regardless of any failures or successes. I had thought I had to lose weight before I could speak and act like I loved myself. I’ve started to see weight of a symptom rather than a shortcoming. To lose weight, I don’t need to change me, or judge myself. I need to find out what in my environment makes me unhappy, and make changes to get where I mentally need to be. The rest will follow.

Self love is an everlasting journey

Love yourself! Speak up about your fears, your ideas, your dreams. Surround yourself with people who will help build you up! Don’t regret those you need to remove or minimize in your life that bring you down. Work on letting things go that anchor you to the past, and hold onto those lessons that make you stronger for the future. I’m still learning, and likely always will be. But I’m finally taking confident steps forward.

 

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Instagram

  • How appropriate that I dressed up as Sally at the haunted house last night, because I was featured as Sally on @liquidcosplay in the same day... Halloween no less! I love love love this costume, and it’s the one that got me started in cosplay and makeup. #halloween #cosplay

#Repost @liquidcosplay with @get_repost
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If you've got it, haunt it. Here's @madlikealyce as Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas. 🎃 Visit her page for more great cosplay!
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#nightmarebeforechristmas #nightmarebeforechristmascosplay #sallyandjack #sallystitches #sallyragdoll #halloween #halloweencosplay #halloween2018 #happyhalloween #EverydayIsHalloween #CreepItReal #repost #cosplay #cosplays #cosplayer #cosplayers #cosplaying #cospositive #cosplaylife #cosplaygirl #cosplaygirls #girlswhocosplay #cosplaybabe #sexycosplay #cutecosplay #womenofcosplay #girlsofcosplay #curvycosplay
  • You would think that I would have done makeup on all of my family at this point, but sadly that is not the case, however, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to do my brother's makeup after the haunt had opened Saturday night! He managed to pull together an incredible maroon clown outfit, and I am really pleased how the makeup looks! I personally like the messier clowns, and it worked well to have brighter pink-ish hues toned down by smudges of black and watering down the paint overall. 
#clown #clownmakeup #hauntlife #hauntedhouse #halloween
  • My first ever zombie for Halloween was a shotgun bride, and although it was a real bridal gown with real shotgun damage, I just used 3 or 4 latex bullet wounds. It was fun, and a great introduction to using prosthetics, but it wasn't really accurate to what I would have had for damage with an actual shotgun wound. So years later, I made up for it by re-creating a more realistic wound of where the shoulder and partial face would have been torn up by the blast. Personally, this is my favorite zombie creation to date! #zombie #zombiemakeup #zombiebride #shotgunbride #zombiecrawl #woundmakeup
  • Ready for my closeup!!! Getting ready for Sioux Falls Zombie Crawl tomorrow!!! #zombie #zombiemakeup #zombiecrawl
  • OK you guys, this is where I love the internet. I created this zombie 2 years ago and had (kind of) forgotten about it until just this week when someone re-created it... and she is on the other side of the globe! Seriously, it made my my entire day/week/month, and reminds me why I love doing this. <3 <3 <3
#zombie #zombiemakeup #zombiecrawl #halloween2018
  • Its GO TIME PEOPLE! T-Minus 7 days to HALLOWEEEEEEEEEEN. Im running on fumes and caffeine, but it is 100% worth it. I love working at the haunted house, and am beyond thrilled about this coming weekend. I still have 2 costumes to finish and 2 zombies to do, plus some donut deliveries (a great fundraiser... friends scared of clowns? Send them donuts a-la-clowns). One more look at this first clown because I was obsessed with this wig from Rockstar wigs... I WILL find a way to use it again in the near future. #hauntlife #hauntedhouse #clowns #halloween2018
  • I had a request to recreate a clown mask as a makeup so it wouldn’t be as hot to wear in the house (swipe to see said mask), and it was quite the learning experience. I made this about a month ago when I was still trying to use the cream paints that the haunt had, though I’ve since decided to buy more of my own water paint to use on my actors. The base here was the basic white clown grease paint, and while I loved the coverage, it felt awful to wear, and it was incredibly difficult to add fine details with cream paint or shadows. So my first and last grease paint clown! 🤡 I still think it’s important to share our failures as well as the successes... this is still far better than what I might have created even just a year ago! #clowns #hauntedhouse #halloween
  • Hey Guys! I've been quiet on Insta so far this October, but its because IM SO BUSY and i'm pretty much in Halloween Heaven. Between finishing my first commissioned costume (its super simple, but I completed foam armor for the first time!!!) and doing makeup at the haunted house, i've hardly had time for sleep... and I wouldn't have it any other way. 
This is one of my first clown practice runs. I tried doing 30 minutes or less, and initially I wasn't planning on posting. Having a few days of the crazed makeup chaos that is getting ready for house open under my belt, I have a new appreciation for what details you can and simply cannot complete in such a short time period, and kind of like the grunge this clown pulled off. Not everything you will create is perfect, but thats how we all learn! #clowns #hauntedhouse #halloweenmakeup #halloween2018
  • I think this barrel look could make a great clown character.... am I going over to the dark side and starting to like clowns?!?! Only time will tell, and there are still 20 days until Halloween! #nightmarebeforechristmas #halloweentown #lockshockandbarrel

@madlikealyce

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