Mad Like Alyce

Loving Myself: The Unintentional Benefit of Writing

Loving myself. This was a surprise side effect from starting this blog 3 years ago. It has grown quite a bit since, but then, so have I. It all started out from the need to start sharing my experiences… to share my story. To feel less alone. To find a way to express myself creatively but also to feel like I had a voice again. Years of struggling with PTSD and chronic pain made me feel like I had shuttered myself so completely within my own mind that I didn’t know if I could ever find an exit.

Finding my voice

And so it started. A small voice out on the sea of the internet, just needing to speak even if I wasn’t heard. But, much to my surprise, people listened, and I realized that I myself started actually listening to what was in my heart.

So I branched out, tried different things, experimented with photography, and food staging, and SFX makeup tutorials. Were they perfect? No. But they were fun, and my voice continued to grow stronger than my fear.

Even when things got a little out of wack (OK, a LOT out of wack) in the last year, I realized that I was starting to see myself as separate from the things I did, the things that happened to and around me. My voice, my confidence in who I am as a person was developing and I found that in roughest moments, it was still there. Even in the darkest times, I know that there are people around me that love me, support me,  and encourage me, even if I cannot see them in a moment without the light.

Self Image

Body positivity is starting to become a huge movement, and it is so interesting how this concept really is unique to every person. I will admit, I used to hate my body. It is a strong word, but it really did encapsulate everything about the emotions I had when looking at myself. Awful, right?

It wasn’t until the past few years that I really started to see myself differently. I’m at my heaviest weight I have ever seen, and yet, I am so proud of myself for everything else I have accomplished in the past few years that I feel that hating on myself for one area is just ridiculous. I used to feel like I had to lose weight a before my life could start. Only then could I get married, have kids, be successful in my career. Do the things I dreamed about. I know it wasn’t a healthy thought process, but I also don’t think it is that uncommon of an idea.. at least in the terms of feeling that there is some goal we have to accomplish before doing everything we want to do.

Learning through leadership

It was making connections with amazing people around me that helped me to start challenging this idea that I had to do things in a certain order. I see all of these incredible women around me. Writers, marketers, designers, CEOs, Directors, entrepreneurs, bloggers. Vibrant, successful women, following their passions. Do they have insecurities? Probably. But that isn’t what I see when I see them. I see people whose accomplishments I aspire towards. Whose behaviors and actions become guidance for who I want to be as a person. They are not perfect, and they are the most beautiful, inspiring, fabulous women in all of their flawed individuality. Through them, I started to see myself not by my weight, but by my actions. My goals. My accomplishments.

Love yourself

I came across this quote on Pintrest the other day, and I realized that of the four ways to love yourself, it is now the second two loves that I can do without thinking. I really do have better love for myself, in any form, weight, and regardless of any failures or successes. I had thought I had to lose weight before I could speak and act like I loved myself. I’ve started to see weight of a symptom rather than a shortcoming. To lose weight, I don’t need to change me, or judge myself. I need to find out what in my environment makes me unhappy, and make changes to get where I mentally need to be. The rest will follow.

Self love is an everlasting journey

Love yourself! Speak up about your fears, your ideas, your dreams. Surround yourself with people who will help build you up! Don’t regret those you need to remove or minimize in your life that bring you down. Work on letting things go that anchor you to the past, and hold onto those lessons that make you stronger for the future. I’m still learning, and likely always will be. But I’m finally taking confident steps forward.

 

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Costume & Makeup Tutorials

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  • Teacups in the afternoon sun. ☀️ if only it was as warm out as it looks! #timefortea #aliceinwonderland #aliceinwonderlandparty #madteaparty
  • It's not a proper tea party without treats! Check out how to make your very own macaroons on the blog now, and I should FINALLY have my first tea party post up soon! #thisclose #aliceinwonderlandparty #madteaparty #macaroons #cupcakes #aliceinwonderland
  • For as much trouble as those chairs were to pain, re-upholster, and transport, they sure look cute in these photos! I've got a DIY tutorial in the works so you can make your very own mad tea party dining set 😜 #aliceinwonderlandparty #aliceinwonderland #madteaparty #timefortea #diy #diyfurnituremakeover
  • It's nearly time for tea! Finally getting through enough photos to move to writing the posts... coming very very soon! #timefortea #madteaparty #aliceinwonderland #aliceinwonderlandparty
  • I can't believe I made these myself! If you have ever wanted to learn how to make macaroons but we're too intimidated to give it a go, I highly recommend just diving in! After 4 batches, I finally pulled off some perfect little macaroon shells (not pictured). Regardless if they look perfect or not, they taste amazing! #macaroons #baking #amateurbaker #delicious
  • I never could stomach the idea of destroying a book for decoration when they are so perfect on their own! Today took more out of me than I anticipated, so nothing on the blog just yet, but soon!
  • Tea anyone? This setup under a canopy of trees was so lovely! #timefortea #madasahatter #madteaparty #aliceinwonderlandparty #aliceinwonderland
  • I think I could actually pull off going blonde! Goes to show how a quality wig makes all the difference in a costume and this one from @rockstarwigs is fantastic! #aliceinwonderland #madteaparty #madasahatter #timefortea
  • Decided to put my Harry Potter posts on the back burner and start sharing my Alice in Wonderland mad tea party! I'm just too excited to hold these back any longer! #aliceinwonderland #madteaparty #madasahatter #timefortea

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