Mad Like Alyce

Living with Anxiety

living with anxiety featureOne of the greatest lessons I learned about living with PTSD was that I have a mental disorder. What I mean by this is that I am NORMAL. I spent years feeling like I was less than, broken, or inadequate because of the struggles in my mind. Because I am always exhausted from silencing irrational thoughts, from corralling my train of thought and keeping it on the path. Always afraid that someone will see through the face I show to the world and see the swirling pain and terror I hide.

I judged myself for struggling to get up in the morning. I judged myself for not responding to people the way I should. I judged myself when, in a moment of exhaustion, I would let down my guard and the pain would get away from me, pulling me swiftly down the rabbit hole. I judged myself for not being normal, and grieved the fact that I never would be.

It was once I started to write my feelings, to talk to others, that I realized a freeing truth. I AM normal. Women all around me struggle with many of the same feelings of inadequacy, of exhaustion. There are so many around me also living with anxiety, PTSD, depression. I still will often judge myself, but those thoughts are now interspersed with praise. Being able to say to myself, “Look how quickly I got through that trigger!” and how I would see a trigger coming hours in advance and preparing a safe place for myself to work through it, and recognizing after only 30 minutes, “A year ago, that panic attack would have lasted for hours…”

So, I hope I can start to be that voice for you. You ARE normal. You are wonderful. You are a warrior. You are Alice in Wonderland. So when you fall down the rabbit hole, know you have friends here and are never alone.

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Costume & Makeup Tutorials

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  • Anybody else struggle this time of year? I’m looking at these lovely sunbeams from my Alice In Wonderland shoot this summer to bring some sunshine to my day. I’ll be doing just fine, then be lying on the couch trying to feel like I can breathe again. I know it is ok, and these increased symptoms will pass, but it’s certainly not fun, especially when I have projects and ideas id like to tackle, but can’t get past this paralyzing anxiety. What do you guys use to help with SADD? #SADD #anxiety #ptsd #seasonaldepression  #winteristheworst #whydoilivehere
  • Halfway done! Still a ton to do, and I’ve learned ALOT already, like how not to sew in an invisible zipper, that I need a seam ripper, and need to invest in real fabric shears. But it’s actually coming together! Having never used a pattern before, I admit I looked at the pile of paper with some skepticism. Also, it kind of matches my couch. 😂 #cosplay #sewing #mccallspatterns #mccalls #mccallscosplay #spacesuit #plussizecosplay
  • Hanging out with mystic while I tackle my next sewing project. I like to think her interest is in hanging out with me, but there is a high chance she just wants the Fritos I’ve been munching... #cosplay #cosplaydog #sewing #mccallspatterns #cosplaymccalls #pitbull #pitbullsofinstagram
  • Bull in boots! It was enough of a battle to get her into them, and she refuses to move anywhere wearing them! 😂😂😂 I was so looking forward to a little dance, but so far she is just laying there looking helpless. Maybe if I get out the peanut butter? #pitbull #pitbullsofinstagram #doginboots #notcoolmom
  • I decided to spring for new ornaments this year and went from hyper colorful to classic beauty with a Gryffindor Christmas tree, complete with Hedwig ornaments! No DIY here (except the jingle bell snitch) just a very content Gryffindor snuggling on the couch enjoying the lights and a glass of wine. #twomoresleeps #harrypotterchristmas #gryffindor #housepride
  • New Christmas gift to myself... the long curly in emerald green from @rockstarwigs ! I’m hoping my ideas for some holiday makeup looks can inspire me to get back at it now that I can finally use my right arm! Any guesses or requests? #merrychristmastome #cosplaychristmas #rockstarwigs
  • The top 9 for madlikealyce! It has been a fantastic year, trying out all kinds of new things and really expanding on my love for makeup and cosplay. Thank you to all of my AMAZING FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS who have been with me on this journey. I can wait until my shoulder has healed enough to get back to it, I have a whole LIST of things I am dying to try! In the meantime, I’m at least back to writing on the blog, so make sure to check me out there, Link in bio. ❤️ you all!
  • Sick day snuggles. But at least it’s my first day out of the sling! #countdownisover #pitbullsofinstagram #pitbull #drinkallthetea
  • My new favorite IG account... u need to scroll through these posts! #Repost @iamtheswimreaper (@get_repost)
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Lol #justbeingbasic

@madlikealyce

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