Mad Like Alyce

For those of you who have wondered what the heck this “Farrell’s” thing I have kept mentioning is… I started doing Farrell’s Xtreme Bodyshaping. The gist is that it is an intense kickboxing class that is 45 minutes per day, 6 days a week, for 10 weeks. 3 days a week is cardio/kickboxing and the other 3 days are resistance band training. Its considered to be a pretty intense workout around town, and I waffled with the idea of doing it for 2 years… but i’m actually really glad I didn’t do it until now.

My journey from self loathing to loving fitness

When I first looked into it 2 years ago, I was frustrated with my weight, and had this “OMG I cannot take another summer feeling like crap in everything” perspective. I’m sure it varies by person, but for me… I actually don’t really like summer. I get sweaty, have to wear spandex under dresses to prevent chub rub (this is more my body shape than weight, however. I could lose a ton of weight and still have this). I don’t like the way I look in shorts, and layers are darn near impossible to pull off without amping up the sweat factor, and I have a really difficult time finding swimsuits that make me feel good. Ultimately, it was the cost that prevented me from joining.

A year later, just after I had my moment of motivation last year in January, I started thinking a bit differently about my health. It wasn’t as much that I wanted to lose weight, but that I just wanted to feel better about myself and I can honestly say that a clear majority of this feeling was more health related than body image. I was shocked when I couldn’t climb to the top of the climbing wall on a company trip. I knew I was certainly out of shape, but something about feeling my muscles fail before my mind gave up… I knew it was time to make a change. I had been focusing so much on improving my mental health, and I really wanted to begin bringing a physical health focus back to the game. I spent about 3 months hitting it hard and thought about taking the plunge for Farrell’s for their summer session… and then hurt myself. After waffling around with taping and chiropractic, I finally went into the doctor who confirmed a high ankle sprain (a separation of the long bones in the leg) and was booted for 6 weeks… in the muggy July heat.

Finally, in September, I returned from a trip out to my Grandma’s in Reno, Nevada to weight myself in at the highest weight I had seen in 4 years… it I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a punch in the gut. But I also wasn’t that surprised. I was so unhappy with how I felt, even though I was far more confident in my body and who I am. I just wanted more for myself. I could do better. I wanted better for myself. I deserve it.

No more excuses

After my ankle injury, I kept making excuses of why I couldn’t do this or that. Why I couldn’t sign up for Farrell’s just now. I kept waiting for the right time. And then I realized I was kidding myself. The time was never going to be perfect, and I didn’t have to be perfect at it (key point there!). The truth of it all is that I missed exercise, but I kept trying to think of ways to “trick” myself into workouts. I get bored easy… self motivation and self control are not really my strong suits. Classes that I can show up to and be led through are perfect for me. I can show up and let my mind shut down, just let myself go through the class and disconnect from everything going on in my  head… and ultimately, what is better than 6 days of intense classes each week?

Falling for Fitness

The honest truth to this is that I really do love exercise, but after developing chronic pain, it became a love/hate relationship. Doing too much (without even realizing it at the time) could put me into a flare-up spiral, but there is nothing better to combat the daily pain than feeling the endorphins from a good workout. From feeling the muscles in your body. From actually connecting to the body that you so often feel has betrayed you. I love feeling sore, as long as I know there is a real cause for that soreness… something I earned.

Even more than that, I miss being proud of my physical accomplishments, and I even missed the thrill from those few short months last year when I started running more than I thought I ever could. I wanted to push past barriers… and I am so excited to tell you how Farrell’s was the perfect springboard for me to do this.

P.S. So I have actually finished my first 10 weeks of Farrell’s, and am now continuing on as a FIT (Farrell’s Infinite Transformation) member! Stay tuned for my 10 week results!

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Costume & Makeup Tutorials

Instagram

  • My new favorite IG account... u need to scroll through these posts! #Repost @iamtheswimreaper (@get_repost)
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Lol #justbeingbasic
  • Bahahahaha too funny not to share! #followyourdreams #freddykrueger
  • When I first saw @miss_stryx post her challenge, it really shook me. What AM I most afraid of? My first thought... was everything. Which made me realize that honestly, my biggest fear is losing control of my PTSD. I was diagnosed with PTSD 9 years ago, but it  took a good few years before I really understood what that even meant and how it impacted how I felt each day. It took even more years of counseling and amazing support from my friends and family before I was able to really get control of it. I'm happy to say that I'm now at a place where I live with PTSD but it doesn't control me. That being said, I'm always terrified of what might happen if it would spiral away from me again.
My second greatest fear is something that has plagued me from my childhood, but became an outright phobia and trigger once I developed PTSD. That is a fear of needles.  Shots, giving blood, and especially IVs.  Then it hit me... what is the perfect combination of both of these  fears? A lobotomy. A very controversial treatment used in the past on people with mental illness, involving a huge needle. 
From that terrifying vision came an awesome collaboration with some really great friends, and filmed and edited by the INSANELY talented @jibclimmer to complete my first ever horror short film. I'm so thankful to have so many talented and wonderful people that were willing and excited about making this vision a reality. I hope this isn't too dark for you guys, but I totally understand if it is! The idea actually terrified me and I put myself in the very center of it! Ultimately, filming this was actually not scary at all, as I have such incredible friends, and I was in a safe space the entire time. This particular version of the film is not the final version, since we were limited to 60 seconds on Instagram. Very soon we hope to have the entire short film up and posted and I will make sure to let you all know when that is live on YouTube! It is with great pleasure that I present to you my entry for round 1 of the #StrykingFEAR contest.
  • What would you do if you foresaw the telling of your own death? Here are some stills of my round 2 entry for the #StrykingFEAR contest. To see  the backstory on my Undead fortune-teller,  check out my last post for a quick short film introduction. The 2 part tutorial video should hopefully be up on the blog shortly!
  • For round 2 of the #StrykingFEAR contest, the character I was initially least excited about was the fortune teller. Why? Because fortune tellers are usually great beauty makeups. While I love doing horror looks, I really can't say I'm great shakes at beauty makeup. And then it hit me... what a great opportunity to do something outside my comfort zone AND something familiar with a two part makeup? I borrowed a crystal ball from a friend, ordered tarot cards, and learned a little bit on how to do a reading and pulled together an ending to this fortune teller's story… or should I say beginning?
  • When your sling gives you a full blown chronic pain flareup. Laying on the floor with my legs up to help take pressure off my lower back, and mystic seems pretty concerned. Good thing I have episode three of the @girlinspacepodcast to listen to!If you haven't started listening to this audio drama, you need to check it out ASAP! #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #lifeinasling #girlinspace #findme
  • Good things happen when you leave the apartment for the first time in a week! These must've gotten dropped off when I was taking a nap, I opened my front door to find this gorgeous Halloween bouquet on my doormat from @bkbecker! I just can't get over those adorable bats!!! #ihavethebestfriends #halloween
  • Rose Madder has an ethereal beauty and raw feminine power, however, something is off... something not quite human. The shadows under her skin would be perhaps leprosy, perhaps something worse, and her eyes are rabid with madness. “Don't look at her face! That is not for the likes of you.”
She was fascinated by the texture of the woman's back, her bare shoulder, and the lower part of her neck. The skin was finer than watered silk. But farther up on her neck... Rosie didn't know what those grey Shadows lurking just below her hairline could be, and didn't think she wanted to know. Bites were her first wild thought, but they weren't bites. Rosie knew bites. Was it leprosy? Something worse? Something contagious? 
Products used in this look are: 
Woochie cream makeup in Dead Guy Grey, @mehronmakeup aqua color in white and gray, Light green cream makeup from the zombie color set from Woochie, Eyeshadows from the @tartecosmetics artist palette.
Gold aqua color from the Mehron brilliant palette, @bennyemakeup bruise wheel.
Full tutorial on the blog!
  • One of the reasons I love Stephen King novels is because he illustrates just enough of the character for your imagination to kick in and fill in the horrifying details that make it real and terrifying for each individual. Because this has never before been made into a motion picture I was really excited to be able to make my own spin on how Rose Madder would appear for round 3 of the #StrykingFEAR contest. Check out the full tutorial, now up on the blog, link in bio!

@madlikealyce

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