Mad Like Alyce

The breadcrumb trail of credits

Recently, I pulled my college transcript for various applications and it was a bit of a heartbreaking trip down memory lane. I had to figure out my Major GPA (why don’t they just put it on there?!?!?) which required me to go through each semester, identify classes from my core classes, and calculate the GPA. In doing this, I was taking a close look at all of the classes I had been enrolled in, and while it was certainly nostalgic… it ultimately made me sad for the person I was at that time. For the girl struggling with things that were bigger than her. I’m proud of what I overcame, but as I started reviewing that freshman year… my heart ached for what that girl had yet to face.

See, I didn’t have the typical college experience. For the first two years or so I was your typical student, give or take, but by the end of my freshman year there was definitely something wrong…. I just couldn’t put my finger on it at the time. Looking back now, I see that I was starting to experience symptoms of my PTSD, manifesting as extreme anxiety. But with no frame of reference for what was happening, I just kept pushing forward.

Reliving those courses… and life lessons

It suddenly hit me when I saw my Summer class in 2009. I was nearly bowled over with the memories of living in a tent in Sturgis while working at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and riding around on my little Yamaha, studying with coffee at McDonalds and then going to the local library to take online quizzes before working from Noon to Midnight every day. It was the last normal class I had for nearly 2 years. I was also filled with a sense resembling dread as I continued on to the remaining semesters.

I recall that next semester when my health, mental stability, and life seemed to fall apart. A teacher I was close with recommended that I drop out of school until I managed to get everything figured out… and I have to admit that this recommendation nearly destroyed me at the time. When my self worth and confidence was at an all time low and I was terrified that I was losing control of my mind, becoming a college dropout was the last thing I wanted to do. So I toughed it out. I registered on campus for disability, which allowed me to get a handicap parking pass and certain attendance allowances in my classes, which saved my butt many times in the next year.

She was probably right

Reviewing it years later, as heartbreaking as it is to admit, I can now see why she recommended it. I watched my grades go from A’s and B’s to a solid set of C’s for nearly two years. So, perhaps she was right. But at that time, I felt like the only thing I had left was my pride.

Even with that dip in my college life, I managed to pull things together. My grades, especially in my final year, went back to normal. I had a great job at the time. I was getting off of my meds, I went through rehab, and I escaped from my abusive ex, all while finishing my degree. So perhaps I don’t have a great GPA, or wild and crazy stories from my days at state. Perhaps I only have one close friend from college. But I couldn’t be more proud of who I am today, and I wouldn’t change who I’ve become.

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

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  • William Faulkner said to “it’s hard to kill your darlings” meaning it can be difficult to critique your own work, especially if you put a lot into it. Stephen King went on to say you should put your work away for six months to a year before editing so you can clearly evaluate. I’m really glad I looked back at this one. Even without the wig, I think it’s striking. #hauntmua #sfxmua #stevenkingismyhero #skullmakeup
  • I’m going through old pictures and ran across this one. I remember not really being happy with this look, and sure, the lines could have been cleaner, but I still really like this! I think we should always go back and look at work a year later... even if it really want good, it shows us just how far we have come in so little time. #skullmakeup #hauntmua #sfxmua #personalgrowth
  • I often do a look that I’m just not all that happy with afterwards, as is with this “halfway to Halloween” clown I created back in.... May? Looking at it now, I don’t know what it is exactly it was that I didn’t like... maybe I just needed a orange wig? I almost like a progress pic more than the finished product. What do you think?#clowns #clownmakeup
  • Throwback to my first actual clown makeup! The eye shapes were inspired by a few looks by @totalnightmaretravis, and i was incredibly excited about this wig! The Rhapsody Short by @rockstarwigs is probably the most fun wig to wear that I currently own. I only have red, but am heavily considering another color for my collection.
Happy National Clown Week! #justclowningaround #clowns #scaryclowns
  • Happy National Clown Week! A year ago, I wasn’t a big fan of clowns, but I practiced so many clown makeups that I eventually came to find them to be one of my favorites, and even created my own clown character. This is the first actual clown makeup I recreated based on @grave_digger_the_clown for last year’s haunt. Turned out a lot prettier than he is, no? 😉
#clownsofinstagram #hauntmua #clownmakeup #clowns
  • One last look at this (insightful? Revealing?) makeup! I actually really loved the eyes by themselves, and they took a good 2 hours themselves. A good challenge in trying to make a flat art of round objects translated on a curved surface! #eyeseeyou #eyeball #eyes #makeupartist #inspiredbyart
Inspire by art by @xsullo
  • Eye see you! I also understand I’m not funny, it’s ok. 😂
This was actually a fun challenge, eyes are really complex and took nearly 2 hours to get them where I was happy. Of all of this, I’m really proud of the detail I was able to get in the irises of each eye, and my blocked eyebrow almost completely disappeared! This actually looks amazing compared to the first time I blocked them out. Yay for progress! #eyeseeyou #eyeball #horrormakeup #horrorart 
Inspired by art from @xsullo
  • I love finding inspiration in new places, and when @bearded_horror shared artwork by @xsullo a week or so ago, I knew I had to give it a try as a makeup! Seriously, such amazing art. I hope I did it justice! Check out their profile to see even more incredible works and compare to the original.
  • After this photoshoot im not sure how to go back to my plain black background... I mean if there isn’t ominous fog in the background, does it really even count?!?! #fogmachine #clownmakeup #scareactress #hauntlife #evietheclown

@madlikealyce

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