Mad Like Alyce

The breadcrumb trail of credits

Recently, I pulled my college transcript for various applications and it was a bit of a heartbreaking trip down memory lane. I had to figure out my Major GPA (why don’t they just put it on there?!?!?) which required me to go through each semester, identify classes from my core classes, and calculate the GPA. In doing this, I was taking a close look at all of the classes I had been enrolled in, and while it was certainly nostalgic… it ultimately made me sad for the person I was at that time. For the girl struggling with things that were bigger than her. I’m proud of what I overcame, but as I started reviewing that freshman year… my heart ached for what that girl had yet to face.

See, I didn’t have the typical college experience. For the first two years or so I was your typical student, give or take, but by the end of my freshman year there was definitely something wrong…. I just couldn’t put my finger on it at the time. Looking back now, I see that I was starting to experience symptoms of my PTSD, manifesting as extreme anxiety. But with no frame of reference for what was happening, I just kept pushing forward.

Reliving those courses… and life lessons

It suddenly hit me when I saw my Summer class in 2009. I was nearly bowled over with the memories of living in a tent in Sturgis while working at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and riding around on my little Yamaha, studying with coffee at McDonalds and then going to the local library to take online quizzes before working from Noon to Midnight every day. It was the last normal class I had for nearly 2 years. I was also filled with a sense resembling dread as I continued on to the remaining semesters.

I recall that next semester when my health, mental stability, and life seemed to fall apart. A teacher I was close with recommended that I drop out of school until I managed to get everything figured out… and I have to admit that this recommendation nearly destroyed me at the time. When my self worth and confidence was at an all time low and I was terrified that I was losing control of my mind, becoming a college dropout was the last thing I wanted to do. So I toughed it out. I registered on campus for disability, which allowed me to get a handicap parking pass and certain attendance allowances in my classes, which saved my butt many times in the next year.

She was probably right

Reviewing it years later, as heartbreaking as it is to admit, I can now see why she recommended it. I watched my grades go from A’s and B’s to a solid set of C’s for nearly two years. So, perhaps she was right. But at that time, I felt like the only thing I had left was my pride.

Even with that dip in my college life, I managed to pull things together. My grades, especially in my final year, went back to normal. I had a great job at the time. I was getting off of my meds, I went through rehab, and I escaped from my abusive ex, all while finishing my degree. So perhaps I don’t have a great GPA, or wild and crazy stories from my days at state. Perhaps I only have one close friend from college. But I couldn’t be more proud of who I am today, and I wouldn’t change who I’ve become.

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Costume & Makeup Tutorials

Instagram

  • My first attempt at a stone makeup! Used Mehron water activated grey base, black to like the creases on my had (so many!) and black and white stipple fir more dimension. Turned out pretty cool, I'm hoping to do a full face application soon!
  • Today was a lesson in moderation. I have too much on my plate, and sometime you just have to accept that it is ok to accept defeat and just relax. This burned hand makeup was inspired as half of a poem(see previous post). Since the inspiration required two hands, I actually did all on this with my non-dominant hand! Gelatin for the burn scars, and my Ben Nye  bruise wheel for color.
  • i have loved
with hands closed
and hands open
both are accompanied
by their own type of pain

by @andrewcoonswriting 
This was truly an example of art inspiring art. If you haven't read @andrewcoonswriting poetry, you need to follow him asap! Having both suffered heartbreak and chronic pain myself, this poem spoke to my heart, and I knew I wanted to use it for my next makeup look. 
The two types of pain display an open hand of stone, and a curled hand of burns. A love present but immovable, and love that burns hot and fast, leaving us scarred for life. 
Check out more of his work and keep an eye out for his new book of poetry, "Living with it," coming out in September!
  • So. Thirsty. Glycerin makes a great base for cracked and peeling lips. And you actually can't drink wearing it... at least, not without a straw. Now back to my morning caffeine infusion. I used my Ben Nye bruise wheel for the minimal colors, and my usual foundation to color the glycerin "skin."
  • Bloody knuckles! Today calls for a quick makeup and an early bedtime, as my sciatic nerve pain is approaching 11... I wanted a wound down to the bone, so I built up the torn skin with gelatin and rimmed the inside of the wound with black, leaving bare skin in the middle to take the appearance of bone when the look is done. I toned the gelatin with red water activated paint, and filled in with a rust and stippled purple to simulate the start of bruises. Finally, I coated it all down in blood. Not bad for a quick and dirty makeup!
  • "EAT SLUGS MALFOY!" Not a fun spell, and not one to attempt with a faulty wand. This "bonus" Chamber of Secrets was born literally from the thought that my ice cube tray looked like slugs! I had to pair my vom with some extra eye bags from a day of puking slugs. "Better out than in."
  • As promised... part two for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: The Basilisk after being blinded by Fawkes the Phoenix. This was a faster approach but I still think it turned out quite nice. The edges of the punctured eyes was made with glycerin, and I tried out my new Ben Nye scan blood! A great way to take a typical snake makeup to a different level.
  • Back to my Harry Potter series... nothing is more essential to the plot of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets than the Basilisk! I actually Iove the hell out of this one, done with mehron water activation paints and fishnet stockings. Aannndddd, since I was not on top of my game last week, I'm bringing you a two for one! Check back soon for part two of this look.
  • This look was a not so successful attempt at a major broken dose... think car accident minus other scrapes. Things I liked: I feel like the beginning of the bruise settling into the cheek was great. Not so much: I wanted to replicate swelling and added glycerin to build up the ridge on the nose. I think I needed to blend it out a little bit more, as it looks too abrupt. I also feel like this look has far too much red and purple in it. I think I could've accomplished a much better makeup with far less color, another one to try again soon!

@madlikealyce

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