Mad Like Alyce

The breadcrumb trail of credits

Recently, I pulled my college transcript for various applications and it was a bit of a heartbreaking trip down memory lane. I had to figure out my Major GPA (why don’t they just put it on there?!?!?) which required me to go through each semester, identify classes from my core classes, and calculate the GPA. In doing this, I was taking a close look at all of the classes I had been enrolled in, and while it was certainly nostalgic… it ultimately made me sad for the person I was at that time. For the girl struggling with things that were bigger than her. I’m proud of what I overcame, but as I started reviewing that freshman year… my heart ached for what that girl had yet to face.

See, I didn’t have the typical college experience. For the first two years or so I was your typical student, give or take, but by the end of my freshman year there was definitely something wrong…. I just couldn’t put my finger on it at the time. Looking back now, I see that I was starting to experience symptoms of my PTSD, manifesting as extreme anxiety. But with no frame of reference for what was happening, I just kept pushing forward.

Reliving those courses… and life lessons

It suddenly hit me when I saw my Summer class in 2009. I was nearly bowled over with the memories of living in a tent in Sturgis while working at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and riding around on my little Yamaha, studying with coffee at McDonalds and then going to the local library to take online quizzes before working from Noon to Midnight every day. It was the last normal class I had for nearly 2 years. I was also filled with a sense resembling dread as I continued on to the remaining semesters.

I recall that next semester when my health, mental stability, and life seemed to fall apart. A teacher I was close with recommended that I drop out of school until I managed to get everything figured out… and I have to admit that this recommendation nearly destroyed me at the time. When my self worth and confidence was at an all time low and I was terrified that I was losing control of my mind, becoming a college dropout was the last thing I wanted to do. So I toughed it out. I registered on campus for disability, which allowed me to get a handicap parking pass and certain attendance allowances in my classes, which saved my butt many times in the next year.

She was probably right

Reviewing it years later, as heartbreaking as it is to admit, I can now see why she recommended it. I watched my grades go from A’s and B’s to a solid set of C’s for nearly two years. So, perhaps she was right. But at that time, I felt like the only thing I had left was my pride.

Even with that dip in my college life, I managed to pull things together. My grades, especially in my final year, went back to normal. I had a great job at the time. I was getting off of my meds, I went through rehab, and I escaped from my abusive ex, all while finishing my degree. So perhaps I don’t have a great GPA, or wild and crazy stories from my days at state. Perhaps I only have one close friend from college. But I couldn’t be more proud of who I am today, and I wouldn’t change who I’ve become.

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Costume & Makeup Tutorials

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  • Happy Birthday Harry, it's time to party like it's 1999! In 99, I was a 10 year old reading the first two Harry Potter books, and waiting for the third (and my favorite) Prizoner of Azkaban to be released in the fall. I eagerly awaited my 11th birthday, and convinced myself when I didn't get my owl that US wizard schools must wait until you are 12. #everydayimmugglin.
Which book is your favorite? And which house are you in? Where my Gryffindor's at?!?!? #harrypotter #potterhead #gryffindor #hogwarts #stillwaitingformyowl
  • Happy Birthday to J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter! Thank you for showing me that for a writer, magic truly exists. 
#harrypotter #hogwarts #potterhead #jkrowling #happybirthday
  • "Jumpsuit jumpsuit, cover me."
Im mildly obsessed with the new TOP single, and actually have a cosplay in the works based off of the music video. Question to you guys, would you be interested in seeing progress pics for some of my work? I feel like I don't focus on one thing long enough, and by the time it hits the blog, its been ages! Let me know in the comments!
#twentyonepilots #TOP #skeletonclique #losingmyfreakingmind #isitoctoberyet #jumpsuit #trench
  • "Time to wake up." I have probably listened to the new TOP song over 100 (200? 100? Who's counting?) times by now. October 5 cannot get here fast enough! I wanted to pull something fast and simple together. #twentyonepilots #TOP #skeletonclique #losingmyfreakingmind #isitoctoberyet #jumpsuit #trench

The whole look was done with #mehron body paint. This wig also has me feeling my emo high school days... wig from Rockstar Wigs, but i'm not sure exactly which style it is.
  • "We've been here the whole time. You were asleep." No better way to jump back in to some makeup looks than being inspired by one of my all time favorite bands. Who else has "Jumpsuit" on repeat? 
#twentyonepilots #TOP #skeletonclique #losingmyfreakingmind #isitoctoberyet #jumpsuit #trench
  • "Sometimes, you just want things to stay the way they are forever. But you can’t. And they won’t." - Girl in Space

Because i'm trying this thing where I post each look in 3's to keep my Insta page even, and I seriously can't express how hauntingly gorgeous the intros are for each Girl in Space episode. I'm re-listening to the episodes now, and I so excited for 109 since I have NO CLUE what is going to happen! Also, after a few weeks without looking at them, this is one of my favorite pictures, and I can't believe I didn't post it first!
  • "Yeah, I’m glad I’m back, too." Episode 108 of the @girlinspacepodcast  left me with SO MANY QUESTIONS!!! Is Kai alive? Where the heck is Thor? Who is the "lion's paw?" But the biggest unknown is just how important the dwarf star "Ra" is likely to become in the plot of 109... and is why Ra is included in my makeup! The warm glowing orb on my eye is in reference to my suspicions that Ra will soon become a much more relevant part of the Girl in Space plot very soon. #girlinspace #findme #nomurdering #savekillbot #prayforkai
  • Galaxy in action! Quick peek at the movement of the makeup before I put on my wig, which covered a lot of the detail. Gotta love that "sunshine" glare on the shiny black surface! I bought a finishing powder this week to hopefully counteract this in the future. Or just back away from the light.... :P
  • Disappearing into the music...
I was really digging my latest playlist when I started my galaxy makeup last weekend, so I started blacking out everything besides my face to procrastinate taking off my headphones. I took this photo halfway through to see how well I would blend into my background, and kind of liked how this "progress" shot turned out. Funny thing was, this was the last pic where I had a true infinite background, my camera (phone) couldn't quite hang once I was fully blacked out. Time to consider a real camera?

@madlikealyce

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