Mad Like Alyce

Appreciating Alcohol

I’ve always been a bit of a lightweight. Perhaps it is because I am so similar to my mother who after two drinks is a whole new level of ecstatic at Christmas. I’m unfortunately the same way. Two drinks and I’m pleasantly buzzed and a third does me in for the night. I am a huge wine fan, and with one day each week on the Farrell’s diet for a “Fun Day” wine almost always makes the cut.

The downside is that I feel I have a small window of that fun, uninhibited creativity before I just want to go to sleep, and tonight I was debating the merits of opening a bottle and taking the risk of tanking some of that productive energy. While making supper, I was thinking back to how productive I was in college and wondering how I managed it, and then realized with the force of a ton of bricks that I had forgotten just how my relationship to alcohol was at that time.

My Relationship with Alcohol

It was this that made me realize that my abusive relationship with my ex was just as much with alcohol as it was with him. After every explosive drinking binge, I would get a great week filled with flowers, and mostly kindness, and most of all, near sobriety. He would avoid the drink in an attempt to remedy the increased damage he had inflicted on me. But it was always short lived. As the weekend approached, he would find an excuse to go to his usual haunt with the usual suspects, and while it might not have been as bad as the last episode, it would start the whole cycle over anew, and my internal clock would begin to count down the days to when it all would go to hell again. And in the most literal sense of it, the waiting itself was the worst hell.

My booze-free college days

All of my college years didn’t go down like this. For the first couple, I had a great time with friends, going out and having a great time. I had a boyfriend freshman and sophomore year, and there were some great times enjoying a beverage and playing cards late into the night. But after that relationship ended poorly and my PTSD got way out of my control and chronic pain decided to join the party, alcohol became something of a boon. For one, I was from that point forward on very strong medications, none of which played well with alcohol. Overtime I became comfortable with dosages and knew when I could indulge, but for the most part, I didn’t feel well enough to go out with friends and I self medicated not with alcohol, but with food.

By the time I met my ex, I quickly learned that alcohol would be a clear indicator of things going wrong. Whether the alcohol caused it or was something that entered the scene after the tailspins would start, I may never know. What I do know is that if I drank, it gave him an excuse to go way over the top and it always ended poorly. Because of this, I never really drank. He would find plenty of excuses to get obliterated and mean on his own without me handing it to him on a silver platter.

Learning to enjoy wine

Perhaps this is why I just never understood the value of going out to “get hammered” or lose control over myself. To me, it was just dangerous to so many levels. Its amusing to realize that I really only started to enjoy going out and having a glass of wine after I had turned 24 and was well into my first job after college… more importantly, a good 9 months after I had put my ex in my rear-view.

It also was a clear sign to me just how far I have come, to be able to have forgotten something that had been such an ingrained practice for so long. So I opened that bottle and poured a glass for the evening.

Cheers to moving on and healing!

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Costume & Makeup Tutorials

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  • Good things happen when you leave the apartment for the first time in a week! These must've gotten dropped off when I was taking a nap, I opened my front door to find this gorgeous Halloween bouquet on my doormat from @bkbecker! I just can't get over those adorable bats!!! #ihavethebestfriends #halloween
  • Rose Madder has an ethereal beauty and raw feminine power, however, something is off... something not quite human. The shadows under her skin would be perhaps leprosy, perhaps something worse, and her eyes are rabid with madness. “Don't look at her face! That is not for the likes of you.”
She was fascinated by the texture of the woman's back, her bare shoulder, and the lower part of her neck. The skin was finer than watered silk. But farther up on her neck... Rosie didn't know what those grey Shadows lurking just below her hairline could be, and didn't think she wanted to know. Bites were her first wild thought, but they weren't bites. Rosie knew bites. Was it leprosy? Something worse? Something contagious? 
Products used in this look are: 
Woochie cream makeup in Dead Guy Grey, @mehronmakeup aqua color in white and gray, Light green cream makeup from the zombie color set from Woochie, Eyeshadows from the @tartecosmetics artist palette.
Gold aqua color from the Mehron brilliant palette, @bennyemakeup bruise wheel.
Full tutorial on the blog!
  • One of the reasons I love Stephen King novels is because he illustrates just enough of the character for your imagination to kick in and fill in the horrifying details that make it real and terrifying for each individual. Because this has never before been made into a motion picture I was really excited to be able to make my own spin on how Rose Madder would appear for round 3 of the #StrykingFEAR contest. Check out the full tutorial, now up on the blog, link in bio!
  • Here is my entry for round 3 of the #StrykingFEAR contest. Inspired by the recent excitement around the movie IT, I wanted to create a character from another of my favorite Stephen King novels, Rose Madder. The book is set in the late 80s or early nineties but I would imagine that it would be produced in the style of many of his older movies from the 70s and 80s such as The Shining, Carrie, or Salem's Lot.
This novel is unique to me because it includes elements of Greek mythology which is a different angle for Stephen King, and also because it covers the topic of domestic abuse, and with October also being domestic abuse awareness month I felt that it was very timely. In the book, Rose Madder is an “almost goddess” that saves the main character, Rosie, by showing her how to empower herself and escape from her abusive husband. 
One of the reasons I love Stephen King novels is because he illustrates just enough of the character for your imagination to kick in and fill in the horrifying details that make it real and terrifying for each individual. Because this has never before been made into a motion picture I was really excited to be able to make my own spin on how Rose Madder would appear.
Rose Madder has an ethereal beauty and raw feminine power, however, something is off... something not quite human. The shadows under her skin would be perhaps leprosy, perhaps something worse, and her eyes are rabid with madness. “Don't look at her face! That is not for the likes of you.”
  • Super excited to be entering the #StrykingFEAR Contest! It all started when I came across the round one intro video from @miss_stryx back in August. Suddenly I had a deliciously horrifying idea that has led to an awesome collaboration with @jibclimmer and I was more excited about Halloween this year then I have been for any years prior. Thanks @miss_stryx for the inspiration! Since I had to rush everything because of my surgery last week, I'm still working on editing and will actually be posting the rounds in reverse order. Round three coming up soon!
  • It's showtime!!!! It's been an interesting last week recovering  from my recent shoulder surgery, but in between bouts of falling asleep randomly and mindlessly watching television, I've been able to work on some of the video to tutorials I shot prior to the surgery. These are gonna be coming at you here pretty soon! In the meantime, here is my Beetlejuice from last year which you can find a tutorial for on the blog, both make up and costume! Link in bio.
  • I didn't want to say anything, then... or even now. But what someone else decided to do became a part of who I am now. A part of the damage I will always carry. My voice may have been small while I put myself together. Until I learned that the part of me that I am proudest of, the strength in me to overcome, is something you will never take. #metoo
  • Should have known #fridaythe13th would be the PERFECT day to start shooting my next project. You guys... I can't even begin to say how excited I am to share it with you, but for now, a quick peek.
  • Even in death, #pumpkinspice is life! Zombie walks are popping up all around the country, and if you want to wear your costume early as a "zombie" but don't want to actually damage the costume, this basic zombie is perfect! Or for me, it's a casual October Saturday....

@madlikealyce

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