Mad Like Alyce

Appreciating Alcohol

I’ve always been a bit of a lightweight. Perhaps it is because I am so similar to my mother who after two drinks is a whole new level of ecstatic at Christmas. I’m unfortunately the same way. Two drinks and I’m pleasantly buzzed and a third does me in for the night. I am a huge wine fan, and with one day each week on the Farrell’s diet for a “Fun Day” wine almost always makes the cut.

The downside is that I feel I have a small window of that fun, uninhibited creativity before I just want to go to sleep, and tonight I was debating the merits of opening a bottle and taking the risk of tanking some of that productive energy. While making supper, I was thinking back to how productive I was in college and wondering how I managed it, and then realized with the force of a ton of bricks that I had forgotten just how my relationship to alcohol was at that time.

My Relationship with Alcohol

It was this that made me realize that my abusive relationship with my ex was just as much with alcohol as it was with him. After every explosive drinking binge, I would get a great week filled with flowers, and mostly kindness, and most of all, near sobriety. He would avoid the drink in an attempt to remedy the increased damage he had inflicted on me. But it was always short lived. As the weekend approached, he would find an excuse to go to his usual haunt with the usual suspects, and while it might not have been as bad as the last episode, it would start the whole cycle over anew, and my internal clock would begin to count down the days to when it all would go to hell again. And in the most literal sense of it, the waiting itself was the worst hell.

My booze-free college days

All of my college years didn’t go down like this. For the first couple, I had a great time with friends, going out and having a great time. I had a boyfriend freshman and sophomore year, and there were some great times enjoying a beverage and playing cards late into the night. But after that relationship ended poorly and my PTSD got way out of my control and chronic pain decided to join the party, alcohol became something of a boon. For one, I was from that point forward on very strong medications, none of which played well with alcohol. Overtime I became comfortable with dosages and knew when I could indulge, but for the most part, I didn’t feel well enough to go out with friends and I self medicated not with alcohol, but with food.

By the time I met my ex, I quickly learned that alcohol would be a clear indicator of things going wrong. Whether the alcohol caused it or was something that entered the scene after the tailspins would start, I may never know. What I do know is that if I drank, it gave him an excuse to go way over the top and it always ended poorly. Because of this, I never really drank. He would find plenty of excuses to get obliterated and mean on his own without me handing it to him on a silver platter.

Learning to enjoy wine

Perhaps this is why I just never understood the value of going out to “get hammered” or lose control over myself. To me, it was just dangerous to so many levels. Its amusing to realize that I really only started to enjoy going out and having a glass of wine after I had turned 24 and was well into my first job after college… more importantly, a good 9 months after I had put my ex in my rear-view.

It also was a clear sign to me just how far I have come, to be able to have forgotten something that had been such an ingrained practice for so long. So I opened that bottle and poured a glass for the evening.

Cheers to moving on and healing!

Hello!

Hi! I'm Alyce.
Welcome to my journey towards living a happier and healthier life while living with PTSD and chronic pain... and never letting it keep me from my passion for Halloween, cooking, and way too many DIY projects... all at the same time!

Instagram

  • Hey Guys! I've been quiet on Insta so far this October, but its because IM SO BUSY and i'm pretty much in Halloween Heaven. Between finishing my first commissioned costume (its super simple, but I completed foam armor for the first time!!!) and doing makeup at the haunted house, i've hardly had time for sleep... and I wouldn't have it any other way. 
This is one of my first clown practice runs. I tried doing 30 minutes or less, and initially I wasn't planning on posting. Having a few days of the crazed makeup chaos that is getting ready for house open under my belt, I have a new appreciation for what details you can and simply cannot complete in such a short time period, and kind of like the grunge this clown pulled off. Not everything you will create is perfect, but thats how we all learn! #clowns #hauntedhouse #halloweenmakeup #halloween2018
  • I think this barrel look could make a great clown character.... am I going over to the dark side and starting to like clowns?!?! Only time will tell, and there are still 20 days until Halloween! #nightmarebeforechristmas #halloweentown #lockshockandbarrel
  • "I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door
And then knock three times
And when he answers
Sandy Claws will be no more!"
The props for Barrel were actually my favorite, even if they are a bit cheesy, and make this costume all the more fun. I'll have to keep an eye out for a skeleton costume this year... I would like to do this one again! #nightmarebeforechristmas #halloweentown #lockshockandbarrel
  • "We're his little henchmen and
We take our job with pride
We do our best to please him
And stay on his good side"
#Nightmarebeforechristmas #halloweentown #lockshockandbarrel
  • I am SO FREAKING PLEASED with this makeup... and I have no justification for why I love Barrel more than Shock... Could be the fun loving character or just that the colors popped more in these photos. Or maybe these clown-like looks are starting to grow on me.... #nightmarebeforechristmas #halloweentown #lockshockandbarrel
  • "Jack said, "We should work together"
Three of a kind
Birds of a feather
Now and forever
Wheeee!!!"
Those poor red eyes! Thats not fx eye-blood... it's what happens when you do too many makeups close together... this stuff can be hell on your skin! They didn't look this red in all of the photos, but they sure felt like it. I have since invested in a serious eye cream... its only one week into October! #redeyes #muaproblems #nightmarebeforechristmas #lockshockandbarrel
  • "Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws
I wanna do it
Let's draw straws"
Maybe it is because this is my shortest wig or just the color palette, but I feel like my Shock makeup came across a bit like Beast Boy from Teen Titans... what do you think? #nightmarebeforechristmas #lockshockandbarrel #teentitans
  • "He'II be so pleased by our success
That he'll reward us too, I bet
Perhaps he'll make his special brew
Of snake and spider stew!"
One last shot of Lock... three guesses what the next one is, and the first two don't count ;) #nightmarebeforechristmas #lockshockandbarrel #halloweentown
  • "First, we're going to set some bait
Inside a nasty trap and wait
When he comes a-sniffing we will
Snap the trap and close the gate"
Ok, i couldn't wait to post this shot with the goofy masks I made 2 years ago... Im obsessed with this gorgeous wig from Webster Wigs. It's seriously my favorite. Speaking of the mask, Im excited to get these new pics posted on the blog, because the makeup and mask pics are super cheesy. It makes me proud to see how much I have improved in both makeup and prop-making in just a few years. #muapassion #lockshockandbarrel #nightmarebeforechristmas

@madlikealyce

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